You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
