I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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