Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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