Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
