Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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