He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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