This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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