He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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