apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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