Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
