ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
