So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
