I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
