mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
