You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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