Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
