Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
