bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
