Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i dont even know how to be here
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
