You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize