oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
