this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
