Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
