Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i think im in europe. pls send help
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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