Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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