If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
