He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
