i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
well you can't waste a boner
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
