If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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