Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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