I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
