i think i recognize dicks better than faces
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
