What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
