i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
