Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
