thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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