I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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