Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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