Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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