So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
