You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
