Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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