i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
