I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i think my mom watched the whole time
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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