Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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