i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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