You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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