i just google imaged poop.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize