I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
