Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
