i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
