he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
