saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
