i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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