Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You pole danced in your parka.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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