I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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