Plan B is the new Plan A
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Congratulations! We have a period
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