Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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