he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
