if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
