covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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