he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
