I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
