M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
