No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
