it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
